My Friend Met a Guy Very Confused by Pronouns.

Friday 22nd of October 2021

My Friend Met a Guy Very Confused by Pronouns.

Social Media Says

This is class="u-nolinkc" href="">what class="u-nolinkc" href="">I come to the interwebs for.
If not for class="u-nolinkc" href="">a fact that schizophrenia and multiple personalities disorder are class="u-nolinkc" href="">a completely different things.
I'm always my head trying to figure out class="u-nolinkc" href="">what it would be in class="u-nolinkc" href="">german (since class="u-nolinkc" href="">I am german). The word for "she" and "them" is the class="u-nolinkc" href="">same (sie) and if you use "them" in plural for class="u-nolinkc" href="">a single class="u-nolinkc" href="">person it means "you".

What You Really Think

I had an interview at a women's based organization. I was interviewed by the board and they all said after their names that they identify as Sheher. I was like why does everyone have the same made up name that seems confusing? Then it dawned on me it was she/her. This was just when properly addressing people by their chosen pronouns was beginning.

It is actually very common in English to do this and you probably have done this without consciously thinking about it. If you do not know a person's gender, how do you refer to that person?

People use they/them very commonly for singular too, usually when you don't know the gender of someone. (ie "someone left their umbrella here!") We just don't realize it because we don't think about it.

I feel you. Sometimes it makes sense when you don't know their gender (like in this case). But other times it gets confusing. For example (stupid example, but something like this), someone is standing next to you and they're pointing to someone at work and say "I heard they hate you". The person is gender neutral so the person pointing it out uses gender neutral pronounces. But someone is standing next to the gender neutral person and now you think they both hate you. Lol. It's a dumb situation, but I can't think of a better example right now.

If you're a native speaker of English then you've always used singular they. It is the third person plural, but it's also the third person neuter animate singular. For example, let's say you find a phone at a coffee shop and give it to the barista, you would say "somebody left their phone" because you don't know the gender of the person. You wouldn't be saying more than one person left their phone, you would mean, someone of unknown gender left their phone. This has been how it works since at least Shakespeare's time.

I thought this until someone pointed out that I definitely use it singularly. Someone left their phone on the counter.

> I always used they/them in a plural tense. Not gonna read the 80 comments that probably say the same thing, but as an English teacher I can guarantee that you didnt.

Try this out, worked for me: If you were talking about someone, no matter the gender, and you didnt know THEIR gender, you would naturally use neutral pronouns when referring to THEM. I was walking home alone at night and someone walked past me. I couldnt see their face, but they had bad breath. Singular, not plural, for an unknown gender. So rather than thinking that person is non binary, they/them I try to think (and sometimes fuck up) I dont know that persons gender since we naturally already use they/them to reflect this very concept! Hope that makes sense :).

The funny thing is that you probably naturally use "they": * "Anyone in that situation would have wondered if they were sane." * "Did you see that nobsocket driver? They cut me off!" Only when it has become a way to describe non-binary individuals has it become an issue. So clearly the problem is not grammar that is bothering those who object, but the fact that non-binary individuals do not want to be referred to by male or female pronouns.

Most people dont realize it, but its really hard to never use they/them in a singular sense. Like, for example, if you dont know someones gender, youd probably call them they/them until youre told what is it. Its the same concept.

I know what you mean, it sounds counterintuitive, but actually you use 'they' in a singular sense all the time. Q: If a person starts work at 8am and works for 9 hours, what time will **THEY** finish? A: **THEY** will finish at 5pm.

Its ok, it still doesnt make sense.

It's all good fam, no one cares about t h e m.

It's so common to use they/them as a singular pronoun where I'm from, so fortunately that part wasn't very confusing to me.

You never say something like they have gone to get their stuff when talking about a person? Or you know they are on tinder right.

No you didnt.

Because that is how English works.

> because I always used they/them in a plural tense It's always been used as singular as well when gender isn't known.

I think it's a bunch of geese.

Like a-theist - without theism. Without gender.

Like that gay agender the radio tells me about?

So whats it mean.. im a gender, its called male.

Maybe not feeling like a gender? That's why I don't like all this new importance being placed on labeling your gender. Most times I feel like a floating entity with no gender. If I'm horny I feel like a male I guess. But forcing gender awareness into every conversion kind of sucks as someone that doesn't really believe it make a difference to who I am. Pretty sure there's a lot of contradictory things we are just accepting so we do the right think right now. But I'm positive making gender such a big deal that it gets in the way of conversation is going to be looked back on as really silly.

No one knows.

It means "look at me I'm different please give me attention". As you can see, she's just heterosexual.

It means attention seeker, saved you a click.

OP will for sure deliver. Lets just wait for them.

I have someone who Im talking to that has DID. Thought about trying that but then I remembered one of their alters is a 6 year old girl and thus, a collective flirty line may not be the most appropriate Honestly a situation Ive never thought about before.


I doubt that a person who has to be referred to as they or them is going to find that funny.

Whats brilliant about that? xD He even confused schizophrenia with Multiple Personality Disorder. LMAO (EDIT: it mightve been clever, if he didnt confuse those, but then i don't know if a non-binary person would rather feel insulted or not. Curious to hear).

Verbs are a piece of cake, but just watch when this guy finds out about conjunctive adverbs.

So what am I suppose to add to a verb to make it an adverb.

Not to worry, I got you!

Wait until you see my dangling participle.

Holy shit there are woke verbs too these days?

And why wouldn't it be??

Yeah, I guess the pronouns of a lot of users here are edge/lord.

I hate that this sub keeps coming up on /all. Literally don't want to ever see a single post off this sub again every single one I ever see is like this. Genuinely one of the worst subs I've seen overall aside from the obvious few big ones. Even when it's not bigoted in some way every post here is cringey as fuck.

Desktop version of /u/TheCryptoBall's link: <; --- ^(])]^(opt out)]()^(]) ^(Beep Boop. Downvote to delete).

Did you assume OPs gender?

They just dont want to be referred to as he or she, I used it at the beginning of this sentence as an example for ya.

The most common use of the word "they" is to refer to more than one person. There is also another use, where "they" means about the same thing as "he or she", referring to a single person with unspecified gender. And now people who don't feel like a he or a she prefer to be referred to as "they".

No I dont.. this new culture is so wierd.

I hope this is a copy and paste. Shit looks depressing and time consuming to retype every time.

Here's a some poor gold for you efforts.

I can just imagine the red hair dye seeing this post.

Lmaoooooo this so fits.

About what??

It "sounds schizo" because of the choice of pronouns. The fact is that English doesn't have a neutral pronoun that describes people; so the non-binary folks have been using "they", which makes it sound like they have multiple personnality disorder... But if they'd had the guts to use "it", or make up something like "Ze", you wouldn't associate it with multiple personnalities. It's just a bad compromise which leads to confusion.

Tfw youre nonbinary so you cant make money ever.

You realize that you also have pronouns, right?

Because they want to make it clear what they want to be called?


Someone's about to get downvoted to oblivion.

A person who sets agendas.

Honestly, hiring a woke person just sounds like an HR nightmare. I'm surprised any of them get jobs. Just go by "Hey you." Like the rest of us.

They harassed you and should be reported to HR.

If they never told you, it's unreasonable for them to get mad at you. If someone tells you what their preferred pronouns are, and you purposely use something else, they have every right to be mad. Imagine you tell someone your name is Jeff and they refer to you as Kim on purpose.

Wouldnt even call them by their name just by their actual gender male or female til it either gets through that thick non existing skull of theirs or they just simply leave.

What specifically in this post is "cancel culture"?

Fuck this wokeism I have to actually respect people!!!??? wow what the fuck I'm being cancelled.

Its not that hard to call a person whatever they want to be called. It literally harms no one to do so.

Exactly, and people in these comments be like "wHaT a GeNiUs OpEnEr!1!" x).

I feel one way, so everyone who feels different is wrong! Cheers Geoff.


I think this is a fad brought on by the mental damage the pandemic has done, and the promoting of it by the Hollywood elite.

Which is some bullshit fad that only a very small minority of people are involved with. Nobody else gives a flying fuck and it will die out.

Disagree. People feel accepted if they can be themselves. a friend of mine discovered they were nonbinary and are now much happier even tho almost nobody knows. they know and their closest friends know. if they were doing it to get attention at least my friend is doing it wrong. But even if most people do if for attention wich I don't believe they're creating a more open environment for people like my friend to feel safer. I don't see a negative impact.

Lmao what. nonbinary people have existed since forever, plenty of cultures have had genders other than male and female in their societies. its only since christians and shit started hunting down anyone queer that these binaries became more strict. the reason you hadnt heard abt they/them pronouns before 5 years ago is bc anyone identifying as nonbinary publicly would be likely to get hatecrimed in the streets just for being open abt it. now that its become more accepted people feels comfortable coming out as such without the threat of violence.

Your biological sex is either male, female, or intersex. gender is a social construct. it holds no biological merit. people can identify as whatever they please.

Gender is a social construct so it's not fixed at a constant binary state lol.

Okay. What is gender?

I like it though- you can filter out the nut jobs with ease.

That pronouns are a thing or that this my pronouns are is ridiculous?

Things that make you uncomfortable arent necessarily dumb. Pronouns help the minority feel more accepted and integrated. Not sure who theyre hurting...

I'm sure theyre glad to avoid you haha.


Its almost like its not about the pronouns. It almost seems as if some people are just bigoted and looking for things to be offended bynaaaah, couldnt be that!

Everybody uses pronouns :) you may go by he/him or she/her, but theyre still pronouns.

Those have been used for singular genderless pronouns for a long time. Was confusing in grade school 20 some years ago because they was supposed to recognize some sort of group. They can he uses to refer to an individual. Most other languages have more options.

As someone from LGBTQIA...I agree lmao.

You're confusing schizophrenia with multiple personality disorder. But I agree. It's just bullshit larping for idiots who feel like they aren't special enough.

He's trying to apply logic with the knowlege he had at the time.

Nobody's a bigot for thinking the pronoun shit is stupid.

Dude your completely right. anyone who feels dysphoric should be able to get access to professional healthcare so they can get the necessary surgeries/hormones etc to feel more comfortable in their own body. so glad youre sticking up for trans rights :).

They can be singular.

If words are just made up then why do you care?

>Why do yall care so much that people have pronouns such as they/them. It's very simple. Because it is batshit insane. Literally a mental illness. Most people don't want to deal with this type of crap.

God yea this comment section is gross as fuck. hate how as soon as i go on a sub not directly abt lgbt or lefty politics it just becomes a shitshow when pronouns or trans people are brought up.

No one cares, have your pronouns but dont expect others to play along with the delusion.

Yes, 20yo boomers alright. Because if you see someone with boobs, you say "her", and you don't really want to go to jail because of it. That's all. Also wtf does "all words are made up" means?

As a native german speaker I'm so fed up with the endless gendered language debate. Gender is non binary (and that's an f\*ing fact) but it was stupid to put gender into language anyways. If people have a prefered way of being called just be a decent human being and call them their prefered way and just shut up about your sad traditional values. edit: sorry to rant under your comment but I need to get this out of my system.

People would probably equally react if somebody wants to be refered by their fursona. It just seems that its socially ok on reddit to make fun of furries, but not of people that think they are random made up gender for attention.

Oh god.

Lmao what? youve never had someone refer to you in front of yourself? do you guys have conversations in real life bc that happens all the time and no, referring to someone as they/them isnt abt the plurality its abt the gender neutrality. we and i arent gendered pronouns so a nonbinary person would still say im gonna do this or whatever.

Surely you realize it's perfectly common to talk about a someone in third person while they're in the room, right?   - "Let me introduce you to my friend Tom. **He's** an architect." - "Mary and I have to take the bus home soon, because **she** has to get up early for work tomorrow." - "Can you come here and help your brother with **his** homework?".

Yeah pronouns are dumb because you use them? what's your point.

Schizophrenics often lack self care so yes they usually aren't attractive.

Homosexuality was also recognised as a disorder and now isn't. What we define as a disorder is changing every few years and is majorly influenced by our culture.

Gender identity disorder is no longer recognized as a disorder, learn about it.

Dissociative identity disorder at the moment. It changes names every couple years because theyre still working out exactly what it *is*.

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